Does everyone remember your parents asking a question that they damn well already knew the answer to?
“Have you been to any internet site lately that you shouldn’t be on?”
or how about
“Is there something that you need to tell me?”
At this point you’re wondering if they finally discovered you have a subscription to Brazzers – or – maybe they woke up at 4am to the smell of Fireball and Waffle House radiating from your body last Tuesday. Either way, you’re shook. The best move is to admit what you’ve done and take the proper punishment. The wrong move is to get creative with you answer. Your parents already know what you did. They are jones’ing for you to fib and remind you they watched Don Johnson in Miami Vice or Pink Panther on basic ass cable…..they know investigating and they will fuck you up with the truth. These moments are the most embarrassing to look back at – probably 15 years later as you’re lying in bed and you make that “Jesus H. Christ, WTF WAS I THINKING” cringe-face.
Well – Zack Greinke knows the answers to opposing hitters questions before they step up to the batter’s box and he already has them in his back pocket – literally.
We all know that pitchers and pitching staff watch film to gather information on opposing batters. How they use that information, effectively, is up to them. Greinke is using the most basic approach here with a simple note card; straight to the point without relying on a pitching coach to give that information from the dugout.
Picture this: you’re a hitter walking from the on-deck circle. You might be wondering if Zack Greinke actually watched the film on your tendencies or if he’s too busy playing with his $31.6 million salary this year to give a shit about a guy hitting .214. Greinke then casually pulls out a note card with all the answers to your sorry excuse for a batting exam. As a hitter, you might be shook and instantly, you’re reminded of the time you thought maybe your mom didn’t hear the innocent sounds of giggling and pay-per-view Cinemax at 1am…..but she did. She had the answer before she asked the question.